Wyszdom

CC: Arnold Schwarzenegger

I’m preparing to leave California and move back to the East Coast. I don’t know if this will happen in a five months or five years, but considering I had multiple dreams last night about being back, I’m hoping the move will occur sooner rather than later.

Before I continue, let me make two things clear:

1. I fully intend to remain employed at Google.
2. I like California.

I am moving because I miss the East Coast, and I know I want to live there eventually. I’ve organized my thoughts into a few sections. Let’s start with the most important:

Location:
California is isolated. I’m close to everything in Silicon Valley, but far from everything else. If I were on the East Coast, I’d feel closer to the rest of the world, where I actually can drop into a different major city for a day or weekend without booking a flight. Since my family is for the most part all on the East Coast, this is important to me. Sure, I’ll fly in from California for Christmas or a college graduation, but if I lived on the East Coast I could be around for impromptu family dinners or the birthday parties of my cousin’s kids.

I do not regret spending time here. I’ve had two years to take advantage of living in the heart of Silicon Valley. I work at Google’s headquarters, I’ve had lunch at Caffé Macs, and I’ve watched Woz play Segway polo. I live close to my friends. There are at least three international airports less than an hour away from me. I can get In-N-Out anytime I want. There are plenty of things this area has that I will miss, but I miss being home more.

Weather:
I’m not saying that the East Coast has better weather, but at least the East Coast has weather. Last year, it did not feel like Christmas was approaching until I stepped outside at the Philadelphia airport. This year, summer came and went without me noticing at all. Yes, in California it is incredibly convenient to not have to worry about rain, and to be able to eat outside nearly any time of the year. But there’s no flourish of flowers in the spring, no colorful leaves in the fall, and no amazingly spectacular sights of snowfall in the woods. Everything is just shades of green and brown.

Let’s take a break from the text and look at some pictures that I’ve taken on the East Coast:

These are flowers. They arrive in the spring. They're kind of like the flowers you see in California, but are generally soft and not attached to a cactus or other dry thorny plant.

The leaves on those trees are usually green, but as you can see in this picture, they have changed. And see the grass? Acres of that stuff just grows on the ground without the aid of a sprinkler system.

This is snow. For those of you from California, allow me to explain: It falls from the sky like rain, but is frozen. Rain is like that stuff that comes out of sprinklers, but it falls from the clouds. Clouds are like the fog in San Francisco, but much higher.

Timing:
Now is an excellent time for me to make the big change of moving across the country again. Last night, after a quick assessment of my living situation, someone asked me if I am lonely. I prefer to say that I’m independent, and this will make the move a lot easier for me than it would be for less independent people. 

I have no significant attachments to my current location other than my job. I’ve always known that I am going to leave the area, so whether it’s been at the front of my mind or not, I’ve always seen everything here as temporary. Moving would be a simple matter of packing up the stuff in my apartment and shipping it east. I will miss some people that I now get to see every day, but I used to see my family every day and I was still able to move to California.

When I’m living on the East Coast, I hope I can finally feel comfortable enough to start settling in and progressing things in my personal life. One thing I’d like to do is own a house. I don’t see that ever happening here. On the East Coast, I’ll actually have realistic options within a few years, and have choices other than stucco for the exterior.

Exactly where I end up living will be determined by a combination of where I find a job and where I can afford to live. Google’s New York City office looks promising for a job. Those of you who know me know that I don’t want to live in a city, and as I just mentioned, I’d like to own a house, so it’s likely I’ll end up somewhere within commuting distance of Manhattan. I’ll miss my current 10 minute commute, but it’s something I’m willing to give up.

I have no other details to announce at this time, but California, consider this your fair warning that I’m looking to get out. It’s been fun.

Update: The exodus begins.

Submitted via the Personal Wyszdom request:

Delicious and convenient snacks
From: Riona

Dear Wysz
Trader Joe’s gyoza: Chicken, pork, or shrimp?

I used to buy both pork and chicken, but recently I’ve been going chicken-only for no good reason. Both taste good to me in potstickers, but in general I prefer chicken over pork. I never buy shrimp. I do eat shrimp occasionally if it comes with something else at a restaurant, but I’ve never sought it out. I have enjoyed many potstickers containing shrimp however, as Nelson made a bunch, and they also serve them on Thursdays at work.

Here’s the part where I try to salvage the post and turn it into relationship advice, even though most people are using the form to ask random questions. This is my fault, because other than the debut post, I never really made it clear what the form is for, and it doesn’t say so anywhere on the form.

Everyone knows it’s romantic to cook dinner for someone. So yeah, you can do that. But here’s something that may be a little more fun: Cook something together. If you know something advanced and your date wants to know how to do it, you can teach. Or, try cooking something that’s new and challenge for both of you.

OnlineHaircuts.com is pleased to announce its mission statement:

OnlineHaircuts.com intends to revolutionize the personal grooming space, leading the bleeding edge of cutting edge web technologies.

Disclosure to investors:
This visionary statement cost us over $50,000 in consulting fees, but if it doesn’t gel, we may cut it. Just FYI.

I really haven’t been able to eat much since last Wednesday due to a sore throat. I’m not getting better yet, but I’m already making a list of things I want to eat when can. Here’s what I’m thinking:

• “Shabuway Original” at Shabuway in Mountain View
• Double Meat, Animal Style from In-N-Out Burger
• Pizza Margarita with tomato sauce and garlic breadsticks with ranch dressing from Amici’s
• Potstickers from Trader Joe’s

Have other suggestions? Leave a comment.

I’ve had a sore throat since Wednesday night and it hasn’t gotten any better, so I’m seeing a doctor about it in a couple of hours. Since I cannot speak, Beah offered to call and make an appointment for me. She got transferred to an “advice nurse,” who asked me several questions, including: “Any white or yellow patches in the mouth?”

I told Beah to wait a second while I checked. I went to the nearest mirror and pointed a flashlight into my mouth.

Oh no. My tongue was completely white.

I ran my tongue under my teeth as I got a closer look. The whiteness drained away. I’m such an idiot. I was drinking milk.

Someone recently asked me if it would be strange for her to join a class which may consist of students who are all younger than she is. I think she was worried about feeling embarrassed or out of place.

I said that one of the coolest things about being an adult is that you can do whatever you want, and that since she wanted to try the class, she should at least go once. XKCD illustrates this point well:

If you’re an adult and you have an idea for something you want to do, but think it may be too silly, follow these two steps:

1. Answer the question: Is it reasonably safe?
2. If the answer to #1 is “Yes,” then do it.

My family is visiting today so I’ve been cleaning off my desk at work. I found a pack of M&Ms in the process and started eating them. Check out what I found inside the bag. I wonder if it’s worth anything.

I ate it. Wasn’t as good as a regular one.

Beah and I are facing away from each other, looking at our computers, doing very important work to improve the Internet. You’re welcome.

Beah: How was the meteor shower?
Me: It was nice.
Beah: Was it beautiful?
Me: It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

[pause]

Me: Beah, turn around.

Beah and I turn around and face each other. I look into Beah’s eyes, and feel compelled to revise my previous statement.

Me: It was the second most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Tiffany
i had an emergency, but its under control now
Tiffany
i was having a craving for mc donalds

I came up with a new joke format last night. (At least it’s new to me). Here’s an example:

Me: Reid, what do you call a meteor that hits the ground?
Reid: I don’t know, what?
Me: A meteorite!

If you deliver it well, it will take your audience some time to understand that you simply gave the definition of a word, and then used the word as the punch line.